I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
