Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
He passed out mid-signature
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
