Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
