Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
