Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
