I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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