if i can run in heels then i can drive
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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