i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
