gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
