so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize