:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize