Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
