Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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