I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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