no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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