ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
