I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Who died my cat blue again?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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