my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Drake has all the answers
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
