I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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