If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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