I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
