it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
