Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize
