Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Farmville is her only friend.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
