She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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