You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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