Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
