I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
