i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
