There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
