All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
