I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
