I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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