When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
