I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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