what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
