If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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