He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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