Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it hurts more in the daytime
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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