champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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