i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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