HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
