I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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