What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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