I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
