Reggie can tackle my bush.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You need Xanax blowdarts
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
