My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
that may or may not have been my penis.
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