My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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