Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
