wanna go halves on a baby?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My vagina just recognized that song.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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