you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
