you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm sobbing to NWA
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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