You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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