This girl is more easily done than said...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
