one two three fourrrrnication!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
