New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
