turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize