i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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