Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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