i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
