I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
