Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
this boner is exhausting
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
