I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
