tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
