I think I am morally bankrupt
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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