I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
